Oran Invites Llewella Swimming
by TraumaticVampiress
Summary: I'm gonna go ahead and call this one-shot a LlewellaXOran. And if you're familiar with these two characters.. Well... You can guess what might happen here.


Once upon a time it was a boiling lava hot day in that scumsack called WizardCity and the poor but totally rad and awesome Llewella Anvilblood had to endure it with her Iceleo friend she could beat on whenever she wanted.

..Sounds great, huh?

"Too damn hot!" I whined, slamming my head against Bartleby's… Whatever. "All the heat is soaking through my black clothes!"

Gwen elbowed me in the funnybone and I had to bite my teeth to keep from crying out. Because as we all know, I am too good to cry.

"Oh, shut up!" She snapped at me. Hot weather put her in a PMS-y mood. "Atleast you aren't an Ice. Besides.. I'm not sure whether to take my hood on or off.."

I extended my hand and slowly swung it around. "Ffffff- OFF!" I smacked the back of her head, but little did I realize, that did _not_ make it fall off.

"Dude!" She yelled, and, little did Bartleby know, tackled me and caused us to roll down to the iron fence. She began punching me in the ribs and I could do nothing but burst out laughing.

"EXCUSE ME, GORGEOUS." Gwen stopped and we both looked up and saw this kid around Jason's age that was fucking NASTY and had a sadist smile on his face. He totally spoke in a demented voice.

We said nothing.

"YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME SWIMMING OVER AT MY HOUSE LATER. YOU LOOK PRETTY.. "HOT"." He held his hand out to shake. Awkwardly and upside down, I shook his hand.

..And he ran off.

I pushed Gwen off of me and a card fell out of my sleeve. It was sticky and dirty, and so was my hand after touching him. I opened it up and saw a house address.

"Llewella, that was horrible you shouldn't go with him." Gwen said in a serious tone.

"Gwen! My number one hoemance," I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "There is nothing you need to worry about. The great Llewella Anvilblood can totally take care of herself. Besides, that kid was like two-three years younger than us and was totally weak and nasty looking."

"He was dressed like a Grand," She shoved me. "You're only a Magus!"

"Remember what I said, Gwen. One day, you will learn from ME."

•°•Later, yo•°•

So I totally changed into my really sexy bikini that was black with a red lace and trim. I was so attractive, it was blinding. I looked at the address on the card and teleported, disappearing in a plume of skulls, and found myself at the limits of one of those Death Houses.

..Only twelve times nastier.

There was junk and shit piled all over the yard. Some included parts from cards and old mattresses. Seriously, what was this? There was a rocking chair on the roof.

"YOU MADE IT," That freaky kid ran down from the house towards me.

"Yeah…" I saw where his eyes were going and crossed my arms over my chest.

"LET US GO," He grabbed my arm and started galloping to this cold and nasty puddle.

"OH MY GOBLIN." I said when I looked into there. It was green, moldy, had plants growing in it, dead bugs floating it, a dirty truck tire, and even water spiders living there. Possibly leeches.

The kid jumped on his broken diving board and dove into the way too shallow pool, probably giving himself a concussion because red pooled up to the top. He swam up through the tire and fixed himself into it. Yep, definitely bleeding.

"What are you waiting for..?" He asked me, his freakwad voice gone.

"You know," I started, making an excuse. "I cooled down the minute I stepped here. Thanks but I think I'm gonna go no-" As I turned to leave, he bolted up and reached to grab my ankle. With a hard yank, he dragged me in.

The disgusting, vile substance filled my mouth and I nearly vomited. It was like salt, baby spit, snot, and leopard shit mixed into one. I resurfaced. "WHAT. WAS THAT?"

All he did was reply with a grin.

I reached under water for something foul and felt my hands scrape against a thin rope. "MOMMA'S GONNA TEACH YOU SOMETHING, SON." I jerked it up and found… Okay, you know what wheelie-desk chair legs look like? Okay, well shrink that entire think to about the size of your face, make it rusty, and with only four legs/wheels. THAT was what I pulled up out of the water. I swung it and hit him upside the head with it, sending him down under. I could totally have left then, but that would have been no fun. In addition to giving him a concussion I shoved all the cattails and water spiders down his pants, put a leech in his nose, and chained him to the tire upsidedown.

Then I went home with my new grappling hook of wheels.

•°•

"Dipshit, if you're gonna drag that thing around, atleast stand it up right." Harriett snapped at me later after I got back.

I stopped walking and turned around, looking at her. "Why don't you make me?"

"Llewella-" Sebastian started.

"No," I cut him off. "This is my new pet and dammit I'm gonna play with it how I want to." I kept walking, dragging it upside down.

"Llewella.. Brings out the child in all of us.." Gwen said, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"This was MY PRIZE for being brave." I told them, walking in circles. "The great Llewella Anvilblood deserves only the best toys."

"I didn't think that counted as a toy.." Karla commented. "I could find a much better one!" She ran off to be abducted by the beast and his pool.

Now that I think about, maybe I overreacted.. I mean, all he did was pull me in and.. Stare at my chest.

….

.

"HE-YAH!" I swung my "grappling hook" over my head, and then let it go flying at Harriett. The scene totally froze like that and the credits started rolling.

..

"The End"?


End file.
